Chitchat with Beautiful Ladies
by bloocheeze
Summary: Strangely enough, tea time with a Mad Hatter really isn’t so enjoyable. Not when she wouldn’t hesitate to cut off his family jewels, right then and there. JetZula-oneshot


**Chitchat with Beautiful Ladies**

_Strangely enough, tea time with a Mad Hatter really isn't so enjoyable. Not when she wouldn't hesitate to cut off his family jewels, right then and there. JetZula_

_

* * *

_

_Squeak._

_Squeak._

_Squeak._

Jet's eyebrow twitches as the old tea server walks back and forth, wiping all the tables with an irritating slowness. He is currently in an old, run down tea shop just outside a village in the Earth country. Restraining himself from snapping at the old man to hurry the hell up, he sighs and runs his hands through his already messy hair. After a failed raid, the Freedom Fighters somehow got separated and Jet ended up wandering aimlessly through the woods. He had finally emerged from the cursed foliage a few days later and found the little tea shop. Which brought him to his current problem: How does one contact his comrades subtly when he has no idea where they are? He has yet to come up with an answer.

"Welcome," the old man croaks when the door swings open. Jet blinks when he sees the man's face pale rapidly and chances a glance behind him. Turning back around, he sips his lukewarm cup of tea and closes his eyes, trying to become as inconspicuous as possible. Of course, it's pretty much impossible when he is the only other customer in the room.

Jet stiffens when the sound of footsteps pass by him, suddenly appreciating that Longshot "took care" of anyone who managed to get a look at the Freedom Fighters' faces; there aren't any accurate depictions of their appearances so he isn't in danger of being recognized. But still…

"A cup of tea, please," the new customer orders with an air of superiority. She is being polite, but Jet knows that tone of voice. _'Anger me and you will pay'_ goes unsaid, though it is pretty obvious (to him, anyway) that she is extremely dangerous. Leaving now will be suspicious and the last thing Jet wants is to, well… End up on the wanted list of the Fire Nation.

When the old man finally manages to calm himself down enough to put the tea cup gently in front of his _(extremely scary and dangerous)_ customer, she scoffs lightly and takes a sip of the tea. Jet hears the scrape of her chair as she stands and he sinks down further in his own seat, hoping she doesn't decide to make him her next victim. He imagines her eyes narrowing in anger, lips twisted in a scowl.

"Is this all you have?" she asks softly, coldly. "Is this all you have for the _Fire Nation princess?_" The old man yelps and bows deeply. As he apologizes, the air begins to heat up. Jet guesses that she is in a bad mood and just wants to terrorize an innocent senior citizen. "I don't need your apologies. I am _Princess Azula_. You will do as I say or—"

Before he can stop himself, Jet is standing up and walking over to her table. He flashes her his most charming smile; the one that had Katara falling over herself for him; the one that disarms even the most aloof of women; the one that _no_ girl is immune to. "Excuse me for interrupting, but I couldn't help but overhear that you're Princess Azula." His smile widens. _'Damn my strong sense of justice.'_ Gesturing to himself, Jet hopes his face expresses utter admiration and not utter repulsiveness. "I've only heard of your beauty, but words really do you no justice. And I'm certain that your fire bending is even better than the stories people tell." Azula only stares at him, brow raised, gaze cold and calculating. Jet inwardly cringes. Apparently, his charming smile and super awesome flattery skills have no effect on the (_scaryscary_) Fire princess.

"…And you are?" Azula asks airily. Jet scratches the back of his head sheepishly and prepares an excuse of how he isn't "worthy" to be known by the Fire princess, hoping that more flattery will make her less hostile. Unfortunately, Azula isn't a push over. Her eyes flash and Jet finds his mouth suddenly dry. As her glare intensifies, he swallows the lump in his throat.

"…Jet," he finally manages, cursing her laser stares of doom. "My name is Jet." Azula nods and points to the other unoccupied chair at her table. She smiles, causing a small shiver to run down Jet's spine. He picks up on her not-so-subtle hint and sits down. During their little exchange, the tea server had somehow escaped and is now back with two cups of hot, steaming tea. Azula drinks her tea, the years of manners drilled into her made obvious. Jet follows her example and is surprised at the tea's pleasant taste. At Jet's confused expression, Azula smirks.

"This area is famous for its hog-monkey picked oolong tea. The only place that serves such delicacy is this rundown shack." She frowns at the owner who his peeking through the curtains that leads to the back room. He squeaks and quickly retreats. "While one usually has to pay a high price for this rare tea, a bit of… assertiveness can also get one a cup, as you can see." Hiding his surprise at her knowledge of tea, Jet smiles again.

"Beautiful, talented, and intelligent." Azula snorts lightly, but Jet is thoroughly shocked when he sees a very small blush coloring her ears. He decides that mentioning it isn't the best idea, so he decides to make idle chit chat instead. It isn't his strong point, but what the heck? Maybe he'll manage to get some info on the Fire Nation's plans. "If you don't mind me asking, Your Highness, why are you here? I don't mean to sound rude, but surely you aren't just here for tea." He mentally gags at how polite and nice he sounds. Azula inspects his face, a suspicious frown marring her very full, very red lips—

Jet steels himself. _'Who cares if she's pretty? She's insane! And Fire Nation! You're sinning against your people, Jet! Just don't look… at… Woah. Nice rack—No! Ignore your hormones, Jet; if she found out who you really were, she'd castrate you!'_ He takes a deep breath and focuses on the issue at hand. To not get discovered by the very sexy _('Scary! I meant scary!')_ Fire Nation princess.

"…I am here on Fire Nation business... as well as personal reasons." When her lips curl up into a malicious smile, Jet has to repress the urge to shudder. Her expression is of utmost glee. Sadistic, sadistic glee. "Tell me, Jet, have you seen a boy around your age prancing about? He has an extremely unattractive scar located on the left part of his face and the temperament of a Kimodo Rhinoceros." Jet frowns.

"Ah, I'm sorry to disappoint, but I have never encountered a person like that." Jet takes another sip of his tea, keeping his face as neutral as possible. He will have to be on the look out for such a person if _Azula_ is after him. Azula hums in displeasure and also takes a sip of the tea. She tilts her head and stares at Jet's shoulder. He looks at her, clearly discomfited. "Er, is there something about my appearance that does not please you, Princess?"

"Yes, you have a bit of ash on your shirt." Her frown deepens and she looks down, as if contemplating something. She opens her mouth to say something, only to be interrupted by a shout from outside the shop. Both Azula and Jet glance at each other and stand. Azula opens the shop door and observes the scene before her. Jet looks over her head to see a small group of Fire Nation soldiers. One of them glances at them and slightly sags in relief. He quickly straightens and bows to the princess.

"Princess Azula! We have found a trail left by the target!" he informs grimly. Azula nods and walks to the cluster of soldiers. Jet finds himself following, curious as to whom this 'target' was. After addressing them and giving instructions, she turns toward Jet and tilts her head again. The soldiers take this as their cue to leave. With surprising gentleness, Azula brushes his shoulder and leans forward a bit. Jet stiffens in fear. _'Has she figured me out…?'_ He nearly jumps in shock when she sniffs him, her lips dangerously close to his neck.

"Interesting…" she mutters to herself, finally leaning back. Jet is horrified at the burning sensation in face; he's fairly certain that he is blushing bright red. She blinks in confusion, a small smirk—no, a small _smile_ making its way onto her face. "Interesting indeed," she says again, this time her voice not calculating, but laced with humor and… was that shyness? Jet is pretty sure that the tea they had been served had some sort of drug and was therefore clouding Azula's judgment and making her act strange.

"Well, uh, Princess, I see that you're busy, and, uh…" Jet stammers, not quite over the fact that Azula pretty much sexually harassed him. "It was very nice meeting you. Your company was quite enjoyable, and uh…" Jet racks his brain for things to say that _don't_ make him sound like an idiot. Sadly, he is still having a small mental break down which causes him to fail miserably. "You have really pretty eyes," he ends up blurting out before promptly shutting his mouth. Azula looks a bit taken aback before chuckling lowly.

"Thank you, Jet. You also provided me with some… interesting company. And a bit of information." At Jet's bewildered face, Azula swiftly turns and begins to walk away. "Last week, my soldiers informed me of an attempted raid on one of our stations." Jet pales rapidly. "The rebels had no bending whatsoever and were easily defeated by the guards. They called themselves the 'Freedom Fighters' I believe. And from the description they gave me, I was surprised to see that you resembled the leader." She glances over her shoulder and pauses, her smirk widening. "But someone such as yourself who is so loyal to the Fire Nation would never be involved in that sort of thing, right?" She faces forward and starts to walk again. "But to be honest, your flattery is quite annoying. See to it that you are never in my presence again." When she finally disappears from view, Jet nearly collapses.

"Crazy Fire Nation girls. I'm never, ever speaking to her again."

* * *

**Edit**_:_ wow, I had so many typos and mistakes in here. I'm surprised I didn't catch them earlier. Also, changed the tense and added a few things. Feel free to point out any faults you find though :)

I want to write more JetZula fluff now, rofl.


End file.
